keep going, I’m almost there

I know this is a shitpost, but

“Your details are […] not stored”

“We’ll search for you in our database of breached personal information”

It’s not different at all, is it Steve?!

Truly heartbreaking.

I fucking despise this kind of gaslighting. YouTube does it too, with their “experiencing interruptions?” popup that then takes you right to the FAQ section telling you to disable your adblocker and that it may cause problems. no, you drooling fucking simpletons, you are causing problems deliberately, problems I will circumvent without disabling anything out of pure spite.

[jaunty guitar begins]

authentic first-hand piss drinking experience, the kind of content that only lemmy could deliver. excellent

The more they alter, the more chance it is they fuck it up somewhere.

there is no possible way “100% democrats in the files” just goes without any pushback, so yeah either they’re totally unredacted and unaltered (likely, comes with its own set of problems) or the democrats absolutely will ratfuck the others.

personally I think the most likely outcome is that Trump’s name appears far fewer times than we expect (after they’ve, yanno, had their way with the files). Maybe a couple instances to satisfy the public that he was a skeezy fuck, but anything that implicates him in something serious will be changed to point to someone else’s name. Usually a Democrat, maybe sometimes the RINO of the week. You’d then just have to make sure every document agreed with every other document – say, dozens of people working in teams for a few months could get that done. Say, weren’t a team of FBI agents doing exactly that not too long ago? Sorting through all the files, looking for every instance of Trump’s name? Wonder what’s up with that.

That would be the smartest way to alter the files. Leave everything else untouched, just make sure the golden orange boy old fuck isn’t smeared. Are they smart enough to do that? Possibly. Maybe. Hopefully not, because the “100% democrats” shitshow would be hilarious to watch

the fact that “what has bill clinton done with his penis” has been a relevant, current-events political topic twice in thirty years is what kills me.

“…but I don’t want to throw out capitalism.”

you should always tip the housekeeper, but I’d never consider tipping quite as much as I would for that

Ubisoft fans should be accustomed to being incredibly disappointed by now, surely.

Journalists should be funded by the public, as they perform a public service, while simultaneously they should not be required to report favorably upon the state. We just fail to do so because it’s more profitable for the old money that own the current media empires (and Larry Ellison), with the added benefit that the general public are treated like mushrooms – feed them shit and keep them in the dark.

yeah, truth is only something those who can afford to pay should have, better that the poors get their news from Facebook posts as God intended

Oh, good, and you fellas had me worried.

No they don’t, it’s the same fantasy – “good things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people”, just aimed at different demographics.

Needs a 1/1000 chance to just say “behind the wheel of a large automobile”

someone get the narcan, they’re overdosing on copium over here!

As it so happens, they can indict ham sandwiches, but not turkey subs. And I think this is arguably funnier.